Thursday, June 10, 2010

Gym Dislikes!!

Let me start off by saying I hate the gym! I don’t hate working out/lifting weights or the benefits from working out with weights; I hate all the boneheads that make going to the gym a horrible experience. I love gyms like Jordan’s Virtual Fit Club. It is the size of a strip mall liquor store and is packed, PACKED with weights. It is like working out in your own private gym.
Since I have been relegated to rehabbing in the gym, I have noticed even more things I dislike. Jeff Bomberger touched on gym etiquette before, but this goes beyond his.

Dudes the shower wall is not a tissue!
Dudes that walk around naked in the locker room have been discussed, but do they really need to SHAVE naked? Come on man show a little respect!
Speaking of respect, what the hell is up with guys that don’t want to say thank you for holding the door that extra second for someone. I am not gay and hitting on you or I don’t think that you can’t open the door; it is a polite gesture that a civilized society respects. I don’t care how much muscle you have saying thank you doesn’t make you a pussy.
Speaking of guys thinking you are gay and hitting on them, that is NOT the case when I see you struggling with too heavy of a weight and I ask if you need a spot. It’s not that I don’t think you can lift it (you shouldn’t be lifting it if you are struggling so bad with poor form but that is another topic), it is that I don’t want to waste my time later filling out a report as to what I saw when you crushed your skull with a 95 lb. dumbbell.
Now for too heavy of weights; if you are using dumbbells you do not need to slam them on the ground for attention. If you are not strong enough to be able to control the weights back to your legs and stand up or control them enough to get them to the ground gently, you are not as strong as you think and should mix in a few stabilizer exercises once in a while.
Treadmill racer guy, I am rehabbing an injury I am not here to race you. Don’t look over at my t-mill and increase your pace to better mine. I am just here because I have to be and couldn’t care less how fast you think you are with your board shorts and Vans.
Other treadmill/stair master/elliptical dorks don’t jack up your pace or the incline so high that you hold on to the handles for dear life. That totally negates the effects of the workout.
OK- this one happened last week it is not BS. Dude, do not get in the pool/hot tube in your Hanes boxer briefs! Nasty!
Last one because I am busy- girls going to yoga classes that are late and rushing through the gym all stressed out they are late. Yoga is supposed to be relaxing and a de-stressor. You are completely missing the point if you are huffing and puffing at the lady that is slowly checking people into the gym because you will be 2 minutes late to yoga class. RELAX the class isn’t going anywhere.

Ahh. Feels better now I can go the gym and smile at all you boneheads.

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